Players' interview after the T20 world cup loss

After the T20 world cup debacle, the Indian players were interviewed for their poor showing. This is what they had to say for their self-defense.

Gautam Gambhir : (In a very “Gambhir mood”) Well it’s none of my fault . The kind of bouncers I faced; I never get to face in India. If they had pitched the ball up, I could have made runs but they didn’t. Gary Kirsten did not teach me how to play bouncers. He is a left hander himself. I can only play well with Sehwag as my partner. He guides me well. We have also spent endless times together lying on lawns in the sunshine adoring “Karbon mobiles” and cuddling each other.

Murali Vijay: (Perplexed) I more than made up for Sehwag’s absence. If you look at the statistics of his previous ten T20 innings ; I was better than him .

Suresh Raina: (Relieved) I was one of the highest run getters in the IPL. The money is in the bag; who cares for international T 20 tournaments. Show me the money. I have made enough money in the IPL to last me another 10 years. It was a nice picnic though. Boys had nice swimming sessions with hot babes after every match.

Rohit Sharma : (Cool as a cucumber) What can I do if the umpire gives me out when the ball hits my elbow. I could have saved India the blushes if the "dancing Billy" had concentrated. Please have patience with me. They call me “The next Tendulkar”. I have not been picked for the test and one day team. Looking forward to the next IPL.

Yuvraj Singh : (Looks of disdain) Well I understand people criticizing me because I didn’t score any runs. But who else did???. I was in the same boat. Plus they kept fielders wherever I hit the ball. I also tried to scare the opposition with contemptuous looks on my face but it didn’t work. On the contrary I was made to look like a fool on some of my shots. I missed Preety badly. The French beard was her idea.

Yusuf Pathan: (Scratching his beard) Well don’t see me as a batsman who bowls. I was never a batsman. It’s the fault of the media and the authorities to call me a batsman. I will play as an off spinner who bowls straight leg breaks for India from now on.

Mahendra singh Dhoni : (Proudly) Well ,of course , I take the blame for the poor performance of India. But I have been given a poor side to work with. Look at the Australians; I wish I was the captain of Australia. I think 4 foreigners should be allowed into the Indian team like the IPL. This change will revive Indian cricket.

Ravindra Jadeja : (Hiding his face) I would prefer not to speak to the media. I am keeping my mouth shut.

Zaheer khan : (Tired look) I bowled well in the death overs with attempted yorkers. I am not a robot to bowl six yorkers consistently. It takes a lot out of me. They make me look like a fast bowler but actually I have never taken more than 2 strides run up in practice. I am better off as a spinner who bowls seam up. I need at least 1 year rest now.

Harbhajan Singh : (The usual smile) Well , I think I bowled well. The tactic of putting a little bit of Bhangra at the start of my action has worked for me. Also planning to add a Punjabi version of the somersault in near future.

Ashish Nehra : (Very Very angrily) Damn!!!Look at me; just look at me . Do I even look like a fast bowler! I think fast bowlers in India are like considerate politicians. They are nonexistent. I will also make a special appeal to ICC to organize World cup every year for “Oongli cricket”. I can bowl at 150 km/hr then.